Panthers are in Charlotte. Simply finding your car and leaving the stadium after the game is a Kafkaesque struggle of the mind. Go ahead and take a cold shower thinking about that. This 2013 Deadspin NFL team preview is … Even the road to their training facility is a fucking speed trap. A stadium that's in the middle of god damn Landover. Why your team sucks: People who defend the Redskins' decision to keep their name like to cite polls that overwhelmingly support the franchise's stance. After fighting down a few more rows of the upper deck, they landed on another drunk Redskins fan who, instead of getting out of the way, joined in. We're the only team that sues destitute widows in order to steal their dead husband's season tickets and then resell them. If I were RGIII, I would be terrified. Please note that the greater DC area has been arguing about how Shanahan handled the Seattle game now for eight straight months. 4h Jake Trotter. And it trickles down from ownership to the coaching staff, to ex-players, to beat reporters, to radio hosts like Kevin Sheehan who spend all day gargling Shanny's ball sweat, to drunk Dead Tree Crew members in the FedEx parking lot doing bellyflops on the roof of their minivans. Washington's most pivotal regular-season showdown in 2013 will take place at FedEx Field, where the Redskins will host the explosive Colin Kaepernick and the … It’s a concrete toilet in the middle of an asphalt wasteland. No... Well, I sorta was, but not, like, diehard, y'know? 2013 Washington Redskins Starters, Roster, & Players: 3-13 (4th in NFC East), Coach: Mike Shanahan, ProBowl: Morris, Orakpo, Williams No one scolds him for wearing such a classless shirt but instead everyone joins together in a nice long laugh. !11) played. The biggest question mark, and reason why Washington will play to a larger audience, is the health of Rookie of the Year Robert Griffin III . And it's amazing how meaningless a 10-6 comeback season feels when it ends like this: Your coach: Leatherfaced dictocrat Mike Shanahan. Where's your Newton jerz? If you're looking for a collection of every windshield sticker of Calvin pissing on something, look no further than the FedEx Field parking lot (or, you know, the $40 lot across the Beltway that you can take a shuttle from). But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Redskins. Why your team doesn't suck: Ever have Griffin on your fantasy team? All the bad things ever written and said about this stadium are understatements. The 2012 Washington Redskins season was the franchise's 81st season in the National Football League (NFL) and their 76th representing Washington, D.C. Their home games were played at FedExField in Landover, Maryland for the 16th consecutive season. For one cold, late-season game one year, my family and I had the distinct pleasure of sitting in front of a man who looked to be homeless, though since he could pay the king's ransom to get in the stadium, he must not have been. She's really great and I'd do anything for her. I've owned 3 Redskin jerseys in my lifetime. Posts about redskins 2013 written by Liisa Nyysonen. WE ARE A PROUD PEOPLE. The 400 section is a nightmare level filled with drunken brawls, usually among Redskins fans. We are still owned by Dan Snyder. The Redskins website once listed the standings of the NFC East in reverse order so that people that casually went to the site thought they were in 1st place. Immediately after the fight began, McNabb tossed a screen pass to Brian Westbrook that resulted in a scrambling 57-yard touchdown run that put the Eagles up by one with three minutes left. Check full stats Washington Redskins vs Seattle Seahawks. What in the world does this guy do? I'd take out a subprime mortgage in both before I move back to DC. Halfway through the third quarter, I see my sister jump out of her seat with the urgency of Chris Culliver accidentally walking into a gay bar. Madden 2013 Wiki Guide. Browns get elusive playoff win, not 'satisfied yet' Cleveland Browns. After 2013's dismal 3-13 season, the Washington Redskins have nowhere to go but up. Look at how the local market treated the story about RGIII's alleged texting of photos to a girl in Virginia on or around his wedding day versus the rest of the country. They use everyone and spit in your face when you dare to call them on it. Only the Redskins could draft such a brilliant young talent, let him get slaughtered on a rec softball league-quality playing surface, and then spend the entire offseason passive aggressively sniping with both him and his doctor. I'm surprised Dennis Rodman hasn't been invited into Snyder's luxury box. And they're correct. I come from a family of Skin fans and this past year we played the Cowboys on Thanksgiving. Tune into sports radio anytime over the last few months, and you will hear the hosts, and their idiot callers, calling RG3 a diva. It's ironic that Dan Snyder is the kind of fellow who supports the name Redskins but will happily cry anti-semitism anytime someone dares to criticize him. that even mentions what he did. Just email me and give me ample evidence of why your team sucks: personal anecdotes, encounters with fans, etc. So, like, yeah, I was just like 'fuck it' and pulled the trigg. Some people are fans of the Washington Redskins. The Redskins will be looking to improve on their 10-6 regular season record and hope to defend their NFC East division title from the 2012 season, their first division title since 1999. Most people don't care, possibly because most people are not Native Americans because we killed all the Native Americans. Remember that one kid in school who was popular only because he had money and nobody ACTUALLY enjoyed spending more than 30 seconds in his presence? And You just know Sean Taylor would not of gotten along well with Roger Goodell all these years. My sports happiness level over the next 6 months (and likely many years on) is based on the health of a couple of inches of tendon that will be targeted harder than a Syrian chemical weapons plant. Robert Griffin III is ranked at #15, Alfred Morris at #64, London Fletcher at #86, and Trent Williams at #99.[1]. It's the reason you stay home to watch games in HD on your couch. Now imagine 60,000 of them in a single stadium. The Redskins rushed for an NFL-high 169.3 yards per game last season, including nearly 50 yards per game on option rushes. The cognitive dissonance of this bunch is astounding — on one hand, they'll despise the man-boy owner for suing season ticket holders and keeping a tight inventory on plastic cups, while on the other hand they bow down to his WE WILL NEVER CHANGE THE NAME WRITE IT DOWN IN CAPS bullshit. Our starting left tackle smoked so much weed during the 2011 lockout he was suspended for four games. And everyone was just about to wash their hands of him completely but then his folks got him a Camaro for his 16th birthday? I'll tell you how: The Redskins. That's just about everyone. She managed to get out of the way, but a little bit of that vomit got into my drink. Every year, the Skins are forced to pray their tiny nest egg of core players—Griffin, Brian Orakpo, Trent Williams, Pierre Garcon, Fred Davis—stay healthy and/or don't get caught with 5,000 pounds of weed in the back of a rented ice cream truck. Washington Redskins players listed alphabetically or numerically. We're stuck with Snyder for like forty more years! They are a member of the East Division of the National Football Conference (NFC) in the National Football League (NFL). This was also the last game Sean Taylor (SEAN TAYLOR!!!!!! Since 2000 here are all the WRs I can remember off the top of my head: Taylor Jacobs, Rod Gardner, Mike Westbrook, James Thrash, Laveranues Coles, Darnerian McCants, Santana Moss, Jimmy Farris (scrap! Hopefully somebody rubs smallpox on those old fucking Lombardi trophies. The Washington Redskins (2013) are the version of the Washington Redskins that are in the game Madden NFL 13. Dan Snyder has never killed anyone!" Native American activists trying to force a name-change on the Washington Redskins have long maintained that the … The 2013 Washington Redskins season will be the franchise's upcoming 81st season in the National Football League and the fourth under head coach Mike Shanahan. The last time we parked in the Gray Lot was opening day 2011 when a girl fell into the creek and suffered a compound fracture of her tibia. Last Edited: … Template:TOC limit 1 2013 draft … He only allows shiteaters like Larry Michael to interview him. He will somehow get away with it and will do so all while Roger Goodell gives him fellatio while wearing a Native American headdress. View the 2013 Washington Redskins schedule, results and scores for regular season, preseason and postseason NFL games. Washington faces one of its toughest challenges in stopping Tom Brady, and it will need a group effort from the secondary and the pass rush. You need Mike Shanahan to schedule a practice? Records, stats best players everything in one place. WE SHALL WEAR YOUR SKIN AT NIGHT. It's simple. Washington Redskins roster for the 2013 NFL season. 2013 NFL season preview: Washington Redskins The Redskins' chances for success hinge on the health of Robert Griffin III, but Alfred Morris could carry some of the burden. WASHINGTON (AP) ? Yo, I'm like 1/88th Cherokee Indian and I AIN'T OFFENDED BY THAT NAME!". Retrieved from "https://www.pompedia.com/index.php?title=Washington_Redskins_Cheerleaders_of_2013_ … Nothing but dickheads from Dumfries and La Plata who have taken out a second mortgage on their trailer to pay for their season tickets (and a tasteful wedding gift for RGIII). — yet far as I can tell the Washington Post refused to even mention the scandal existed. The team finally avoided fucking itself with a lunchbox for five minutes and traded for the right to pick RGIII and promptly allowed him to tear his ligaments to a bloody pulp on a field that looks like it's been watered with the urinary trough at a horse race. FedEx field is a cheerless shrine to corporate expense accounts. Within a year of buying them, they either: A. Unceremoniously retired after a 19 year Hall of Fame career. This is the seventh-largest metro area in the US and Snyder keeps having to knock out sections of seats at FedEx to replace them with "party decks" in a useless attempt to act like our fanbase is larger than Jacksonville's. FedEx Field is a super dump. Washington Redskins 2013 Schedule The Redskins may pick up more prime-time games due to flex scheduling late in the season . I only saw a split second of the play as the stadium noise caused me to look up from the fight long enough to acknowledge the Redskins were blowing the game. 2013 did not at all go how the Washington Redskins thought that it might. Mike Shanahan coached the team. The best part was that everyone knew he would tank the second he got paid, and yet the Skins couldn't WAIT to fly him in. Jay fucking Leno was making jokes about RG3's alleged behaviors — seriously! Frankly, they could be named the Tigers and I'd still demand they change it just to be a dick to them. 3) Bruce Smith/Deion Sanders/Jeff George/Mark Carrier. 2013 Washington Redskins Statistics & Players: 3-13 (4th in NFC East), Coach: Mike Shanahan, ProBowl: Morris, Orakpo, Williams I literally heard Sonny Jurgensen say, "It's 4th down, they'll either go for it or punt the ball" on the Redskins radio broadcast. Oh God, when he's on, you feel like you're king of the world. Snyder will kill these babies and proceed to sue any news publication/blog/twitter account/etc. Mike Shanahan will never allow something like that to happen again. His business card must say "I'm not Vinny Cerrato" on it, which is enough to give any Redskins fan a big ol' boner. Griffin will have to carry them on his little stick legs again, and those legs are bound to give out. Washington Football Team – zawodowy zespół futbolu amerykańskiego z siedzibą w miejscowości Landover w stanie Maryland, w pobliżu Waszyngtonu.Drużyna jest obecnie członkiem Dywizji Wschodniej NFC w konferencji NFC w lidze NFL.W 2009 roku magazyn The Forbes oszacował wartość zespołu na około 1,6 mld dolarów, co daje mu drugie miejsce za … He is a repulsive, disgusting man who has spent over a decade ruining this team and steadily surrounding himself on all sides with boot-licking toadies. Your 2012 record: 10-6. 22 overall), first- and second-round selections in. The Eagles would go on to score another touchdown and win 33-25. To replace him they bring in - DeAngelo Hall! Ugh. Fuck our racist fans. I look over and boom, dude is vomiting everywhere. Theismann, Mark May, LaVar Arrington... playing for the Skins is like an asshole training seminar. Sitting directly behind one, who sat behind the other, we had a front row view as the Redskins fan in the higher row, pushing three bills, decided to spear tackle the other, much skinnier, Redskins fan. We're fucking pathetic. I've lived in the DMV for 10 years and Redskins fans are the most humorless, bro-tastic, lecturing group of assholes you'll ever meet. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. This isn't a Jerry Jones, Ralph Wilson or Jerry Richardson situation- at least they will die soon. Move to DC! Washington Redskins. I miss the days of Snyder openly trying to buy a championship and then failing miserably. They are the most tone-deaf franchise in the history of organized sport. 2013 National Football League season by team, http://www.nfl.com/top100/2013#video=0ap2000000164188, https://americanfootball.fandom.com/wiki/2013_Washington_Redskins?oldid=48352, The team traded its first-round selection (No. You have to go to hellholes like Woodbridge, VA or PG County, MD to find Skins Country. The Gray Lot is a dirt field that was purchased by Snyder in 2010. Two drunk morons decided they'd had enough arguing over Joe Gibbs's play calling, stood up and started some aggravated jawing. The man combines the satanic personality of Al Davis with the money-grubbing “get every god damned penny I can” attitude of Mike Brown. Conversation between 2 dudes in RG3 jerseys at a shitty bar that caters to a bunch of kids right out of college: "Hey man, weren't you a big Panthers fan last season? Insider: 2013 Washington Redskins draft guide. The Redskins are so transparently phony that they can barely hide their contempt for the general public. To keep their lucrative, racist brand going, they trotted out an Indian chief (who wasn't even a chief and probably wasn't even an Indian) to "support" them as part of a series of team-issued press releases that read like a fucking missive from the North Korean government. Redskins fan worship RGIII the way a stalker worships a woman he's about to stab to death. They use their fans for money. (Chris Cooley got the same protections when he cheated on his cheerleader wife.). And Sam Huff once called our quarterback RD3. I worked as a bartender in Richmond (where the Skins held their training camp), and I swear I got into this argument three times a night: Drunken patron: "Kirk Cousins is the best quarterback on the team" Me: "You're a fucking idiot and I'm cutting you off". Once those guys go down, it's another year of limping to 6-10 with no healthy receiving threats and a nonexistent pass defense. Plus, Dan Snyder only gets interviewed by his own employees, which is really funny. I'll throw any good material into the post and give you proper credit. He rebounds the next year to make the Pro-Bowl only to bitch slap Richard Sherman after losing to the Seahawks in the playoffs and then gets into a bar fight in Honolulu and is scratched from the Pro Bowl because a beer bottle was smashed over his head. ), Sean Taylor, Brandon Lloyd (fun fact: I own possibly the only authentic Brandon Lloyd Redskins jersey that was ever sold to anyone who didn't have a job description involving decorating Lloyd's in-house recording studio), Antwaan Randle-El, David Patten, Anthony Armstrong, Aldrick Robinson, Josh Morgan, James Thrash again, Leonard Hankerson, Devin Thomas, Malcom Kelly, Niles Paul, Pierre Garcon. Need Mike Shanahan to get medical clearance for his visibly injured QB before sending him onto FedEx Field's hallowed mangrove swamp turf? Washington played in the Eastern division of the National Football Conference (NFC). Your fantasy player everyone will hate: Alfred Morris, who was a reliable fantasy back every week last season. Also, RGIII will not respond to my youtube videos inviting him to see my new puppy. They're repugnant. By the way, are you aware of how many insufferable media personalities this franchise has produced? See more ideas about washington redskins, redskins, washington. I will never know how my sister developed the spider senses to dodge that waterfall of vomit and I will never, ever forget that chunk (yes, chunk) of puke floating around in my soda. It's amazing how many teams have whiffed on wideouts in the second round. Washington also cannot afford to start 2013 as it did 2012. They talk about Bruce Allen and Shanahan as if they're all somehow colleagues. They will tell you that, like steroids in baseball, this is purely a media-driven story and that the average person doesn't care about it. The Redskins—who suck at public relations more than any company has sucked at anything—have mishandled Griffin to the point where I'm now excited for him to finally lose it and tweet out FUCK SHANNY and then delete the tweet five seconds later. I remember hearing one reporter, I think it was John Keim, on radio being asked about RG3's scandals and he acted like he hadn't heard anything about it. Each week, you'll get a game preview produced by the talented folks at NFL Films, plus extended highlights featuring all the pivotal moments, best plays, hardest hits, and close calls from each game as the Redskins maraud through the season. I'd also put her in a burlap bag and beat her with a brick if it meant not seeing any more fucking wide receiver screens to Santana Moss for a two yard loss. Also, fuck Steve Spurrier. It took us like a year. Washington Redskins Madden 2013 Teams Read all the 2013 NFL previews so far right here. A team picked by more than a few fans and analysts to win the NFC East finished with a worse record than that of a division rival that started out the campaign at 0-6. The Redskins are that kid and Robert Griffin III is our Camaro. Getting in and out of the place is a disaster that will take you hours. Picture a person with the arrogance of Joe Theismann and the self-seriousness of Mark Schlereth. I know many sites have decided to not use the term "Redskins," but I feel like they're doing the Redskins a favor that way. Once upon a time, there existed a LESS talented Tim Tebow. The Redskins' preseason schedule was announced on April 4, 2013. At least the Eagles waited 7 or 8 years of postseason failures before they started turning on McNabb. They love him so much that they get SO VERY ANGRY when RGIII does something to disappoint them, like accepting gifts from fans on his wedding registry. I'd pay five times that just to avoid encountering douchebag Skins fans at whatever bar while trying to watch my game in peace. This is not a list of our number 2 receivers, these are our studs. Drafting a wideout in the second round is like putting your hand in a coffee grinder. He will schedule the SHIT out of a practice. We are the Dallas Cowboys' psychotic ex-girlfriend. They use the media to push their shitty in-stadium experience. Fat Albert and the Junkyard gang is such a perfect nickname for the Skins lockeroom during the Zorn era but at least you only had Tight Ends posting pictures of there tiny pee-pees online instead of leaving purple bubblegum all over the interior of rental cars for one of your fans (who pays your salary btw) to clean up after you killed your pal. But I am in favor of continually harping on this team to change their name because the Redskins organization deserves to have PILES of shit thrown at them. Perfect. McCoy took the field for Monday Night Football on September 9, 2013, and rushed for 184 yards on 31 carries and scored a touchdown in a victory over the Washington Redskins. It took one season for Robert Griffin the Third to turn into a superstar, and if he wants to build on his success, he will have to do so coming back from a torn ACL that he suffered in January. Nobody, fan or bandwagoner, knows all the words to the fight song and I fucking die every time it comes on and we all have to struggle through it together “Hail to the Redskins…blerh da da da…something da dooo da… fight for ol’ DC!”. It is bad enough we have Dan Snyder as owner, and have endured him for almost 15 years already, but my god he is only 48 years old! He still hadn't by halftime, so we assumed the danger must have passed. 17) Adam Archuleta. We are about to sit down to dinner during halftime of the game and my cousin sits at the table with a shirt that says "Cowboys suck" with a image of a cowboy giving head to an Indian. 2) Albert Haynesworth. The Redskins were 3-6 headed into their bye last year, before rolling off seven straight wins (including four by seven points or fewer). 14) Josh Morgan. Coaches on the 2013 Washington Redskins coached by Mike Shanahan, Kyle Shanahan, Jim Haslett, and staff. 18) Danny Wuerffel. As an actual member of the Shawnee Tribe, I don't know whether to be more offended at the fact that we're named the Redskins or the fact that I was not afforded the opportunity to sell out my heritage and support the name for a super sweet bribe. Last season RG3 made me forget how much I hate Dan Snyder. That's North Carolina. 8) Malcolm Kelly. Snyder will spend a fortune on players (usually shitty) but probably not even $10 on the awful grounds crew this team has. He must have had 15 hot dogs and about 400 beers, because from the beginning of the first quarter he looked like he was about to vomit everywhere. It was the third season for head … Washington Redskins Friday, January 4, 2013. 2013 Washington Redskins Statistics 2013 Washington Redskins Roster. There are two ways out of the Gray Lot to the game - all the way out the back of the lot down the road to the stadium (about a mile walk), or through the woods with no real path and two makeshift bridges that span a creek. The schedule includes the opponents, dates, and results. Posts about redskins 2013 written by Liisa Nyysonen. ", "Yeah, I just moved here from Peek-town, K-S. RG3 is so sick.". This is why Congress hasn't gotten any laws passed. As a Skins fan living in NYC, I pay DirecTV like $300 a year to watch the games at home. Here, you'll identify the local Skins fan by their mating cry on 106.7 The Fan: "'Sup LaVar and Dukes. 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